he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize