Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize