Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize