maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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