Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize