shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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