turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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