No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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