i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize