i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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