We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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