He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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