I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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