Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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