It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize