I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize