I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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