ugly people sure do ruin things
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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