I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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