I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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