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called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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