Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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