im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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