i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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