I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize