I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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