worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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