What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize