the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize