Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize