i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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