I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so that wasnt chicken after all
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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