Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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