Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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