I wish life had little blips of pornography
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There's always time for handjobs
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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