Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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