So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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