bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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