i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize