Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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