she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoShamevember. You game?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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