If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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