who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize