Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize