i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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