that's an acceptable place to lick
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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