I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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