He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize