I skipped work to stalk him.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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