My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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